Hope

Never lose hope of what God can do thru the transitions of our life.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

2 Bleeding Ulcers!

At the beginning of this year, I felt challenged to temporarily give up some small things in my life. Nothing major, right? Right! Well, I'm just 7 months into this "challenge" I have been diagnosed with 2 bleeding ulcers.

I've been on a liquid diet for about a month now. Ugh...awful right?! Honestly, after the inital desire of just wanting to chew food went away I became completely satisfied with having something on my stomach. Avocado's, butternut squash (pureed), goat milk, ice cream, mango, yogurt, & broth--that's my list of CAN's!

Being the researcher I am, I've discovered a lot about ulcers: how they occur, what irritates them, how to care for yourself to ensure your stomach heals properly. Google is an amazing tool! :)

I didn't realize how serious my condition was until my body literally started screaming at me with drastic measures.

I wonder how many times I've done that emotionally. Spiritually. Relationally. Have a weakness, an area that screams at me to be improved. Does it eat away creating bitterness, fear, and even push me to act out? Like an ulcer, the more damage I do the worse it gets. The consequenses get more severe.

In this moment, I have 2 choices.
  1. Get help ASAP!! If  I can't do it alone then find someone I trust who will go at this journey with me. 
  2. Ignore it. Initially this is what happens anyway..but if I let it simmer long enough...HUGE consequences will erupt for me those closest.
So my goal is clear today. Get. Better. It's time I take an honest look at myself & be willing to reach out & recieve help. Hopefully, I'll better very soon.                   

Monday, June 27, 2011

Quick photo updates

Anthony has graduated HS!

My nephews are cuter than ever!!!

Love my lil brother ;)

Donovan & I at Celebrate Freedom!

Us Kids!

My best buddy!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Turning to the next page

 As I think back about my childhood, I know I could probably document almost every memory with a video camera somewhere. Mom was always really good about recording the big and little moments as kids. If I were to put in a VHS tape today, I would mostly likely hear mom's voice saying, "this is a new (or different) chapter in our lives!" 

Us kids used to tease her about saying that everytime. It ironic though, because today....that's what keeps coming to my mind. It's a new chapter in my life. 
My life is a book. The words, actions,
thoughts, possibilites...& dreams are my story. 
Am I embracing the next few pages or
 am I dreading them/fearing what MIGHT happen? 

I was looking up scriptures that say "don't fear" and found
Isaiah 8:11-12; it says, "God spoke strongly to me,
grabbed me with both hands and warned me
not to go along with this people. He said:
   "Don't be like this people,
   always afraid somebody is plotting against them.
Don't fear what they fear.
   Don't take on their worries."

I've turned many "pages" in my life. I've experienced
things I never thought I would (the loss of childhood securities), could (love at 1st sight), or even should (forsaken by that once said "lasting love").
But I survived it....NOT because of ME. God gets the complete spotlight! God carried me completely. How I not trust Him since i'm asking Him to be the author & editor of my life...my book.
So with courage, I obey God's words to STOP worrying, trust that He won't ever disappoint me, and know that the ups and downs of a book are what make it exciting!





Monday, April 18, 2011

SOS!

Do you ever find yourself sounding like "Grumpy?" Being one of the 7 dwarfs from the sweet Disney animation "Snow White", Grumpy had a tendency to always see the glass bone dry rather than half empty. Ms. Grumpy, if you will, tends to show up when the pressure of life is put on me. Here's my list this week:
  • Alegebra homework
  • Final due today
  • English paper
    • 5 papers in on essay please
  • Finals back to back
  • Refuge (youth night) Wed.
    • snacks
    • games
    • lesson
    • assignments
  • songs for wed night
  • Thursday celebrate recovery
    • get songs
  • Practice new song and sundays songs
  • Get ready for Easter Sunday
    • Youth booth
    • free gifts
    • advertising?
  • Easter lilies
  • oh, yeah and sleep--if you can.
Told ya Ms. Grumpy shows up. I'm not mad...just slighty overwhelmed.


To say that I was sluggish coming into work this morning would be huge understatement. My eyes would not obey my commands to stay open. I hadn't been at my desk long when some of the guys came over.We started our morning conversation.
Somehow, we got to talking about America's Funniest home vidieos. After sharing story after story of videos we've seen, I was laughing so hard that I had to stop catch my breath! :D

Isn't it amazing how laughter can make you feel?! 

At one point, I stopped and thanked God for bringing fresh laughter into my life.

Yes, I'm still exhausted, but my outlook on today is brighter.

My advice=go to youtube.com and search America's funniest home videos. Take a few minutes to impact your whole day. Trust me, you won't regret it!

    

Monday, January 31, 2011

What if...

  • What if the chicken didn't cross the road?
  • If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
  • If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
  • What if my child eats dog food?
    1. hey it was a real question...i turned out ok...mostly :-P
  • What if life is...PRE-school for people and their eternities?
  • If everyone was listening....what would you say?
  • What if there were an actual money tree?
  • If I tred harder & did more, will God love me more?
  • What if I were selfless rather than selfish?
  • What if.....what if.......what....if....??
Life is full of random, simple, deep, important questions like these. (3# being my Favorite)


STOP. Take the time to think. About what? Your life.Your Dreams, do you have any? From personal experience, it's easy to forget how to dream; especially when the bustle of life drowns out the breath of fresh air. When the simple things become complicated, truth becomes deluted.
Time has to be forced to pause!


FORCE yourself to remember past dreams, examine present desires, and hope for future ones. Allow yourself to be lost in a Disney colored adventure. Cotten candy clouds, cinderella romance, & "supercalafragalisticexpialidocious" days...yes, aaahhh the bliss....the happy ever aft.....


*SMACK* There's that ugly thing they call reality. The baby needs a new diper, the kids are late for school, you forgot to do the laundry last night & now his shirt is STILL got that syripy stain on it. Your trying to tell your husband about your day but he's in his "nothing box", your family is upset again because your boyfriends house for Thanksgiving of theirs, & your friend would love to have that kind'of issue to deal with since 25 & holding....(and yes STILL single)...has somehow jumped to 29 and depressed.


How can to dreams & reality co-exist?!?! What if they could?


From one sister to another,....*in wisper tones*....uummm why do you think I called it "What if..still figuring it out myself :)


I'm not an expert....aaannnd I'm pretty sure I never will be, but a few secrets I've learned I'd like to expose.


  1. Don't be afraid of the "what if's"...fear will stop you dead in your tracks & keep your gridlocked
  2. Start with baby dreams--like getting 8 hours of sleep in ONE night (I hear the amens. LOL), then move one to slightly bigger ones
  3. Be grateful EACH step of the way. You're probably going stumble, grumble, & cry along the way, BUT that's all the more reason to CELEBRATE the small victories! Get your party hats on girls!
  4. Saying that, find you an accountability partner. You MUST have that type of communication & openness to keep you inline & ontrack & encouraged...give it back too! They're are priceless gifts.
  5. Don't ever loose hope!
    1. It's been said that humans can live about 3 weeks w/out food, about 4 days w/out water, 3-4 minutes w/out air, but you can't live ONE SECOND w/o HOPE.
These are a few simple things that have helped me on my journey. Take time to laugh & be with the people you love & that love YOU!


+ if you have any tips please feel free to fill me in! We need each other!

Friday, January 21, 2011

It's finally here....

This is a special weekend for me. I get to spend 24 hours with just total girls...teenage girls. 
oh, yes! And the best part is that we are teaching them how worship God, the consequences of stuffing and the value of communication. I am just so excited to have this opportunity to be with these 11 girls for the weekend.

God is showing me everyday what & how to work on the areas that are lacking and I just am praying that these girls rock their faces off (just an expression), sing till they're horse, & up their personal relationship with God a notch or 5...by being real, honest,vulnerable, & who they are.

Thank yous to Revolve Tour for creating such a place for them, to Pastor and church family for praying for us and this special weekend, & thank you to the Sponsors who truly made this weekend possible for them. It's going to change their lives and allow God to speak directly to their hearts.
IT'S TIME TO DREAM ON!  

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Feeling Stressed?

10 Mind- and Body-Saving Tips to Beat the Post-Holiday Meltdown

by Grace Gold (Subscribe to Grace Gold's posts)
Posted Jan 3rd 2011 at 12:00PM  
Woman relaxing Start 2011 stress-free with these mind- and body-saving tips. Photo: Getty
A hectic holiday season can leave you feeling stressed, overwhelmed and completely run-down.

But taking time to restore and rejuvenate doesn't have to mean an expensive new gym membership, crash diet or steeply priced spa jaunt.

We spoke to leading physicians, trainers, and health and beauty experts to find the 10 easiest ways you can calm and center yourself right in the convenience of your own home, at little or no cost.

With these tips in tow, you'll feel refreshed, relaxed and perfectly primed to conquer all of those New Year's resolutions -- and actually keep them.

1. Set a bedtime. The biggest mistake people fall prey to while making New Year's resolutions is assuming that a complex new plan must be hatched, when simply returning to basics can have the strongest effect on both your health and energy levels. "Probably the best advice is to encourage people to get back to their normal routines, ASAP. Simple solutions like committing to eight hours sleep by giving yourself a bedtime makes a huge difference," says Dr. Susan S. Blum, MD, founder and director of the Blum Center for Health, in Rye Brook, N.Y.

Sleep is also scientifically proven to make you look more attractive to boot.

2. Cut sugar and alcohol. Revamping your diet doesn't mean you have to subsist on carrots and celery or miserably drink green sludge for days on end. Just cutting alcohol consumption and those sugar-filled treats that can morph into a daily habit during the holidays will allow your system to more effectively flush out the toxins that are making you feel groggy, bloated and fat.

"Sugar causes your blood sugar to go up and down, which puts stress on your adrenal glands to make cortisol to help balance it. Also, when your blood sugar drops, you get tired, and the adrenals pump out adrenalin for an energy boost. Your adrenals can eventually get tired of this work and become unable to respond. This is often why people become dependent on eating more sugar to keep them going. Alcohol acts like sugar in the body, and therefore does the same as above," explains Blum.

3. Rock out. Savoring some tunes on your iPod playlist or best-loved CD can relax your whole body, lighten your mood and refresh your brain so that you can catch a second wind. "Spending 10 minutes at the end of the day listening to your favorite music, and even allowing yourself to dance or move with it while cooking dinner, is a great stress buster," advises Blum.

 4. Bathe and breathe. Turn your bathtub into a haven by indulging in a favorite bubble bath or adding a few drops of lavender essential oil to warm water. While you're blissfully enjoying your soak, practice deep breathing.

"Most of us are shallow breathers and breathe into our chests instead of into our bellies. Deep breaths can be enormously helpful in reducing tension, anxiety and depression," says Teri Dourmaskin, who holds a health education Ph.D. from Columbia University and is founder of the all-natural La Vie Celeste skin-care line.

"Take a deep breath in, focusing on filling up the belly. Then exhale through your mouth. You can also add sound as you exhale with an 'ah.' In order to get the hang of it, you can practice first by lying down and placing a book on your stomach to ensure that you're breathing through your belly. The book should bob up and down with each inhale and exhalation," instructs Dourmaskin.

5. Laugh. It's not just sweet talk to say that laughter is the best medicine; catching a funny flick with friends or playing with a pet who makes you giggle are both ways to help your body produce more "feel good" chemicals, which are scientifically proven to make you both healthier and calmer. "Laughing can increase endorphin levels and other neurotransmitters. It helps reduce stress hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine -- which is adrenaline -- and dopamine. It may also increase the number of antibodies and T-cells, which may in turn boost the immune system," adds Dourmaskin.

6. Meditate. To instantly de-stress wherever you are -- even if it's a few minutes you catch in the car or train while running around -- simply close your eyes and repeat a soothing mantra in your mind that centers your thoughts.

"Some people may find meditation difficult because their minds wander too much. For them, I highly recommend Deepak Chopra's CD "The Soul of Healing Meditations." All you have to do is sit and listen. Deepak's words are incredibly powerful and the music is intoxicating," says Dourmaskin.
Facial Mask Take time to pamper yourself with a DIY facial mask. Photo: Getty
7. Work it out. If you feel overburdened by stress, a sweat-inducing workout like kickboxing or the current martial-arts trend of Brazilian capoeira can not only work toxins out of your body, but leave you feeling lifted, too, says Brett Hoebel, celebrity trainer and creator of RevAbs DVDs.

If you're too tight on time or funds to seek out a class, both PBS and Fit TV run free workout broadcasts every day that you can do at home.

And if the stress is of the deeper emotional kind, you may benefit more from a calming stretch session or restorative yoga -- not to be confused with an intense vinyasa class, says Hoebel.

8. Mask and pamper. Taking time to indulge your skin will not only make you feel valued, but give you the glow that others see as a sign of vitality and wellness. Marina Valmy, director of Christina Valmy Skincare, shares two beauty recipes you can cook right up in your kitchen:


Exfoliation Enzyme Mask

1 teaspoon mashed papaya
1 cube pineapple or 1 1/2 teaspoon pineapple juice
1 teaspoon cornmeal
3/4 teaspoon finely ground sea salt

Blend all ingredients in a mixer, adding sea salt last. Apply to entire face, save for eyes, using a mask or foundation brush for even application. Leave on for 3 to 5 minutes before rinsing. The mask gently removes dead cells without irritating, leaving skin velvety smooth. Follow with your favorite moisturizer.


Eye Puffiness Reduction Mask

2 tablespoons grated raw potato
1 teaspoon instant coffee
1 teaspoon grated broccoli

Blend potatoes with instant coffee in a mixer. Add broccoli and blend until homogenized in texture. Apply under eyes and leave for 20 to 30 minutes, removing with cotton pads and water. Coffee increases blood circulation for better oxygenation, and potato enzymes extract toxins. Broccoli is rich in vitamin K, which counteracts the appearance of skin darkness and bruising.
Yoga Om! Unwind with a simple yoga pose. Photo: Getty
9. Twist and calm. A simple yoga stretch that anyone can do is a great way to refresh both mind and body in a few minutes flat. "Twists help to release toxins and create an intention to breathe deeper into the muscles along the rib cage," says educational kinesiologist and yoga expert Candace Morano, a Licensed Master Social Worker.

Lie on your back on soft carpeting or a yoga mat, and bring your knees to the chest and over to your right. Look with your head in the opposite direction and feel your center extend away from the side as you twist. Inhale again, and switch to the other side, exhaling your knees down to the left and head in the other direction. Hold for several moments on each side as you breathe deeply. While twisting, think of releasing an old habit or thought that no longer serves you, instructs Morano.

10. Clean out. You know how sweeping out clutter can make you sigh with relief and breathe in with new energy? It's not just your imagination -- making physical room for something fresh can also clear your mind of negative thoughts and the debris of stress, and make you feel ready to take on the world. "Consider cleaning out a closet, drawer or area in your home to clear space to bring in the new. Envision how you would like it to look. Let go of objects or clothes that carry an old energy that you feel you no longer resonate," says Morano.

My 21st B-day!

Without Training Wheels

It’s a breezy, warm, summer’s day.  Everything seems to be making its own melody. The trees sway in a happy dance with the wind, the sun beams flicker with excitement, the birds chirp and sing as if it were their last tune; all softly watching on to see if she’ll do it this time.
“She’s almost got it…there!..Uh!…OH..she’s…aaahhh” says the squirrels, as the 5 year old (going on 8) falls once again off her little pink bike.

Chloe determined not to have training wheels anymore! Why, she’s 5 today! “A whole hand full!” she declared after eagerly blowing out the candles on the purple cake with her name on it; for purple is her favorite color & mommy knew.

With mom and dad watching closely-ever ready to prevent a broken arm or clean a skinned knee, but allowing her to fall or stumble in order to learn to ride properly-she feels safe, but independent.
“I almost did it!” she shrikes as she pauses long enough to catch her breath. “You can do it sweetie!” they encourage.

Isn’t this the picture of our lives? No matter our age, aren’t we all trying to accomplish, achieve, or conquer a feat of our own? 
All trying to find our way, find a dream and daring to believe in it.

Learning to ride a bike was (at that time in each of our lives) the biggest feat to achieve; the balance, steering, peddling. For me, my bike was somewhat too big…my poor little legs couldn’t quite peddle and set down at the same time. 

But after about a day of spent hours on the hot pavement Chloe was a pro! Her purple and pink pom-poms blowing in the wind as she flies by mom and dad; now not afraid, but proud.

How many times has our Heavenly Father sat back and watched us as we try life out on our own? Jesus showed us how much He truly values children.

10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. [11] [a]
12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
                                                                           Matthew 18: 10-14

Think of a child you know. Think of a time that they showed complete trust; tons of faith and zero amounts of doubt.
Do you remember feeling that way at one point and time in your life?
Like you could accomplish anything! Answer this question:

        “What would I try if I knew I wouldn’t fail?”

A few months ago, it would’ve been completely impossible to answer that, because after being hurt, left, lost, depressed, without self-esteem, emotional disconnection, procrastination, & much more…I was unable to make decisions, my truster was broken, and I had no desire to dream a dream only to wake up to more disappointment.

It wasn’t until I stepped out of the dark corner I sat in that I forced myself to deal with my past, learn to God made me, & not be afraid to DREAM!

So whatever the answer to that question is, make THAT your LIFE resolution. Not just this year or the next, but if it’s something God put into your heart—then you’d be crazy NOT to work towards it.

Dare to dream BIGGER this year!